28/12/2010

Food for Life

Ipoh is officially food capital of the world—well, my world anyway. Honestly, I  could live there and just eat, get really fat, explode, get repaired and eat some more. Fucking unbelievable gastronomic treats in that city. On the downside, where were the girls? We went to three different places and there were no chicks. A lot of Indian men, and a few old Chinese geezers, swilling the brew, but no chicks to be found. Sad really.On the plus side though, we did get to see some phenomenal looking lady-boys in action last night. I've got to say, if I were really  hammered, I'd mistake those things for chicks—seriously. And no, I'm not fucking gay.

Anyway, the trip is still going rather well. I took off to the highlands today (Cameron Highlands to be exact) and so far, it's wonderful. It's not hot, the sun is obscured in clouds and mist and it's rather cheap. Scored what seems to be a rather hopping hostel, so my  hopes are high for tonight. I'm going to buy a liter of Thai whisky, some Coke, pay the corking fee and get fucking hammered. With any luck, I'll be able to trek tomorrow. Also, with any luck, it won't be pissing down rain. If it's raining, I'll just eat Indian food and drink tea all day. I can't say I'd complain about that.

25/12/2010

Merry Fucking Christmas!

It's that time already? How could it be? It's infernally hot, I'm staying in a tiny Muslim village, alcohol is as scarce as snow and it certainly doesn't feel like Christmas, but it is. However, I've got to say that it's been rather enjoyable. Hiking through the jungle, fighting off leeches, sweating profusely and just relaxing a bit has been phenomenal. The fact that no one gives a shit about the date makes it that much better for me. It's just another day.

In other news, I banged around Kuala Lumpur with an insane Italian, a really cool Canadian guy and girl and just had a great time. The food was unbelievable. Everything is on offer there at any hour. Christ, it's just fucking brilliant. The fact that it costs peanuts makes it that much better. As far as a city goes, I actually enjoyed it there. Getting awoken by the jackhammers and construction work after drinking all night wasn't so great, but eh, we survived.

Had quite a few great encounters with some interesting characters. An old (70-plus) Indian man at the Batu Caves gave us one hell of a lesson. The best had to be why he liked Helsinki so much: "There are no niggers or Chinese there. They tell them 'get out' and they leave. It's a great place." All this with an Indian accent—it was fucking classic. The Chinese taxi driver was great as well: "I find you Northern China girl. Very young, very cheap. They are big too. They eat wheat so they're tall like you, not like me. I only eat rice. I small." Oh, and the best had to be: "Oh, you want two girls? You want sandwich? No problem. I take you there later. Here's my card." Fuck me, I just loved it! Aside from the drunken revelry that ensued in Little India where he dropped us, that was the highlight for me. Jesus, what a night.

Anyway, enough of the bullshit. I don't want to pay for ten more minutes on this thing, I need a drink, a smoke and I want to listen to Metallica at my hostel. Yeah, it's really great. As I was watching Metallica DVDs earlier with the lady that works there, I just didn't have the heart to refute her claim that Lars Ulrich is the best drummer in the world. I mean, how can you possibly break a cute, young Malaysian heavy metal fans' heart? I'm not that ruthless.

20/12/2010

On the Road Again

Seasons Greetings Scumbags!

Well, it's that time of year again. It's holiday time and I'm thankful for one thing—not spending it doing nothing. When you get three weeks of holiday—undoubtedly the best perk of my job—you've got plenty of time to head out for a serious trip. I didn't waste any time and took off on Friday, flew to Batam, took the ferry to Singapore, stayed one night there and then was off to Malaysia. I'm only three days in and it's fucking great!

I've got to say that, so far anyway, Malaysia is outstanding. I wasn't in Johor for 30 minutes and I'd already acquired a SIM card, had a wonderful Indian meal, tried 'bahulu or baulu' (a traditional Malaysian cake that is delicious) and met a semi-famous cook that agreed to show me around town that night. I found a hotel for a whopping 50 ringgit, cleaned up and it was on. I had some beers in the middle of town, wandered around in the night market, strolled along the harbor, ate the best 'pecel lele' I've ever had and watched Malaysia defeat Vietnam in the Suzuki Cup. A successful night? Yes, I think so.

The trip to Melaka was anything but painful. Unlike in Indonesia, getting a ticket was remarkably straightforward, they didn't try to rip me off with blatant disregard (aside from the food, probably the best thing I've observed), the bus was posh, the road was actually a road (a motorway to be more exact) and in a bit over two hours, I was over 200km away and in a mild state of shock. As a plus, the drive there was incredibly scenic. The road cuts through rather thick jungle and it's just gorgeous.

At first, Melaka didn't really do much for me. It was jammed with Chinese and Singaporean tourists, whatever Dutch and Portuguese influence there was is practically gone now and I saw most of the sights in just a few hours. I thought it would be a one and done city, but last night, I changed my mind. First, the food is fucking phenomenal. Chicken rice, laksa, Indian, cendol, satay, etc.: this place has got the goods. Best of all, it's cheap as chips and available everywhere. I scored a room for 15 ringgit, so with my unexpected savings, I went out and had numerous beers, hungout with some super cool people and I'm going to give it another go today since all the tourists have gone home. Tomorrow, I'm off to Kuala Lumpur.

So, Merry Christmas to those of you that celebrate. Enjoy it wherever you may be. For me, as long as I've got a place to lay my head, a belly full of good food and some cold beer, I'll be smiling. Until next time...

17/12/2010

Pull the Plug

Check out this mope's story. Poor old chap. He did what I've wanted to do countless times. Granted, he got his house ransacked, is now in jail and is fodder for the media, but nevertheless, I've got to give the guy kudos. Every time the damn singing erupts from my local mosque—and by comaparison, it's not that loud—I cringe and resist the urge to go apeshit. I just turn up the TV, shut the doors or wait it out. The 4am eruption used to piss me off to no end, but that was when I lived in a different house and was literally surrounded by mosques. Now, there is only one, it's small, it's not that loud and the singer actually sings in key and understands that if you put your mouth right on a microphone, it sounds horribly distorted. Wow, I'm blessed! Who knew?

16/12/2010

See, it's not that bad for you.

Ah, to hell with you anti-smoking fools. Finally, we have proof from the "experts" that smoking isn't that bad for us after all. Have a look at this article for more information. There are better quotes than from the US tobacco hearings years ago. I love this place sometimes! There's always something to make you smile.

15/12/2010

2010: A Year of Music in Review


Honestly, this year wasn’t the best for music. True, there were some good albums, but compared to last year, well, there really is no comparison. However, in keeping with tradition, I’m going to review the albums that I thought were great or good enough to make my best of list. Some I thought would make it didn’t while some came from out of nowhere, shocked me and I’ve included them here. Maybe you agree with some and maybe you don’t, but I hope someone out there finds a new band and I hope to uncover some new music thanks to your feedback. These aren’t rank-ordered, as I can’t really say which one is the best, second best, etc. With that said, let’s give it a go.
Engel – ‘Threnody’ (SE)
A bloody fantastic release. After their first album, which was less than stellar, I didn’t have high expectations for this album. However, one song in and I knew things were different this time around. While the former was weak, hollow sounding and lacked any sense of direction, this album is forward, direct, fuller and absolutely badass. True, it may drip with In Flames influences, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s great. The mixture of keyboards and electronic sounds are subtle, but really help to round out the sound. They aren’t too in your face and it’s clear Engel is definitely a guitar driven band. There is little filler and ‘To The End’ is one of the best songs I’ve heard this year. I’m glad I gave this a go with an open mind. Don’t judge this on the quality of their first album. If you fancy In Flames and Soilwork, this is for you.
Fear Factory – ‘Mechanize’ (US)
Wow, what a roaring comeback album this is. I’ve been a big Fear Factory fan since I was just a wee kid. I remember hearing ‘Demanufacture’ for the first time—I also heard Death for the first time the same day, but I digress—and thinking, “Are those real drums?” This album gave me the same, excited feeling for what was to come and it didn’t disappoint. When you’ve got Gene Hoglan playing drums for you, good things are bound to happen. While the sound isn’t drastically different from the Fear Factory of old, there is a renewed intensity and viciousness to the music that you can hear as well as feel. The vocals are delivered with more ferocity, the lyrics are cold and sterile—it’s a bit like the soundtrack for the end of the world—and the riffs are tight and precise. Angry music makes me happy—it always has—and this definitely makes me smile.
HIM – ‘Screamworks: Love in Theory and Practice’ (FI)
I’ve always had a soft spot for HIM. They’re a hard rock band through and through no matter how many Goth chicks like them, how many fat guys in tight pants wear their t-shirts and their appearances on MTV. They’re from Finland. They know how to write songs and fucking rock. It’s as simple as that. Ville’s voice is as good as ever, the sound is solid and complete—more so than ‘Venus Doom’—and the songs are tight and catchy. The lyrics are more or less the same themes, but they make it work. Great band and not be missed live if you get the chance.
Keep of Kalessin – ‘Reptilian’ (NO)
A beast of an album and I really love this band. Emperor is defunct, Satyricon don’t play black metal any more, Dimmu Borgir are terrible, Enslaved have shifted styles and I’ve never cared for Darkthrone, so Keep of Kalessin are my new Norwegian favorites. While it would be hard to say this is ‘true black metal’, it’s unquestionably heavy, cold, bleak and fucking fantastic. I don’t know if it’s necessarily better than ‘Kolossus’ and ‘Armada’, but it’s at least as good as those two albums. This is strong from start to finish and a very enjoyable album. I don’t know if it will stand the test of time, but it’s doing well right now.
Lifehouse – ‘Smoke & Mirrors’ (US)
Yeah, yeah I know it. How could you possibly include Lifehouse? Honestly, I’ve always been a bit of a fan. They write good, solid rock songs, I love the singers’ voice and I’ve always been a partial to a good sappy song and they have their fair share. That said, this album is a huge leap forward for them. It seems like all the ones before had a few really good songs, but the rest was either merely filler or complete crap. This time around it’s strong from start to finish. There is no filler, all the songs fit and it’s a treat to listen to from start to finish. It starts on a high-note and ends on a high-note. You can’t complain about that can you? Surely not.
Poets of the Fall – ‘Twilight Theater’ (FI)
Ah, one of my favorite bands metal or otherwise. I had extremely high hopes for this album and my god did they deliver. The Poets can damn well write a great song but it’s taken to new heights here. At first, I wasn’t sure how I thought about the number of ballads present, but over time, I’ve grown to like it. The production is top notch, the vocals are pristine (as usual), the playing is solid and as I said, the songwriting is superb. All of their albums sound a bit different and this is more of the same. Even though their style hasn’t changed, their music doesn’t get stale. A great album to drive to, sit and relax to, daydream to or fall asleep and dream to—it’s just fantastic.
Poisonblack – ‘Of Rust and Bones’ (FI)
Upon the first listen, I immediately thought, “stronger than ‘Dead Heavy Day’”. It’s still undeniably Poisonblack, but they rein it in a bit on this album when needed. There is a ballad or two, and plenty of the heavy stuff, but the balance is nicer on this album. Ville hasn’t got the best and most polished voice, but he uses it well. I’ve been a huge fan of his since his Sentenced days and his voice hasn’t changed or evolved much since then. I absolutely love the song ‘Buried Alive’. It’s got to be one of the strongest they’ve written. Great stuff and I’m eagerly awaiting the new album next year.
Witchery – ‘Witchkreig’ (SE)
I wasn’t too fussed when this came out, but I wish I had been—I didn’t get it until it had been released for months. I guess you could call me a fan, but not a big one. I really enjoyed their first album when it came out, but I lost interest with their subsequent releases. I’m not sure why, but it just seemed a bit stale and didn’t stick out from the hordes of other bands pumping out the same style of music. Ah, but it’s amazing what a new singer can do for a band and it reinvented Witchery full stop. The vocals are much more brutal and honestly, that’s what really makes the difference for me. The songs are chock full of fantastic riffs, as each album Jensen plays on is (seriously, he’s a fucking monster when it comes to writing a good riff), the sound is much more polished and refined and it just seems a bit more direct and serious. The guest musicians that pepper the album with solos (Andy LaRocque, Hank Sherman, Gary Holt, et al.) is just icing on the cake. It’s a great, fun album and it reminds me of why I like and listen to heavy metal.
Volbeat – ‘Beyond Hell/Above Heaven’ (DK)
I only recently discovered this band—how they eluded me I don’t know—and they are just incredible. It’s heavy metal, rock ‘n’ roll, rockabilly, country and god knows what else mixed up and bashed out and I love it. I’ve had less time to digest this one, but I find myself listening to it quite a lot—as do I the other albums as well. It’s good music, the songs are incredibly strong and it’s fun to listen to as well. I’d love to see Volbeat live. I’m sure they put on a great show. This isn’t to be missed.
The Wretched End – ‘Ominous’ (NO)
An absolutely punishing album from ex-Emperor and Zyklon guitarist, Samoth. It’s death metal with a bit of thrash mixed in, it’s heavy and it’s great. It’s not night and day different from Zyklon, but the sound is a bit less sterile and more organic. It’s not overly flashy, as it doesn’t need to be. The start and stop rhythms are present, it’s intense when it needs to be, but calm and brooding at other times. As all good death metal albums seem to be, the running time is kept low as well, but when it’s over, you’ll want to come back for more.
Notable Albums
These are good, but just not quite up to par for a ‘best of’ list. However, they are worth a listen no doubt.
Amorphis – ‘Magic & Mayhem – Tales From the Early Years’
Anathema – ‘We’re Here Because We’re Here’
Atheist – ‘Jupiter’
Audrey Horne – ‘Audrey Horne’
Dark Tranquillity – ‘We Are the Void’
Enslaved – ‘Axioma Ethica Odini’
Melechesh – ‘The Epigenesis’
Sahg – ‘III’
The Showdown – ‘Blood in the Gears’

DVDs
There were quite a few good DVDs (music related) released this year as well. Check these out for some free time well spent.
Meshuggah – ‘Alive’
At the Gates – ‘The Flames of the End’
Down – ‘Diary of a Mad Band’
The Haunted – ‘Road Kill’
Amorphis – ‘Forging the Land of Thousand Lakes’
Opeth – ‘Live in Concert at The Royal Albert Hall’
Behemoth – ‘Evangelia Heretika’
Death – ‘Live in Japan’